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Day 34 – beer

I had been planning a post for today about the process of brewing ancient beer, and the archaeological evidence used to attempt to recreate the prized beverage of Sumer. But the weekend is calling, my malting experiment failed, and I know you guys love Inanna and Enki, so instead I present to you – Inanna and the God of Wisdom.

Many of us have had too much to drink on occasion, and woken up missing a wallet, a phone, or a set of keys. It’s only human. But when a god gets drunk, there’s a whole lot more at stake.

In the myths of Sumer, there is something called a “me”. These consist of concepts, objects, creations, occupations, elements of character, inventions, and all the things that make civilisation. Crucially, these were not human inventions. Civilisation had to be won from the gods. Specifically from Enki, god of wisdom. Here’s how it went.

Inanna, lovely, powerful Inanna, goddess of Uruk, stood one day out by the sheepfold, feeling super-pretty and strong, delighted by her remarkable vulva, and coming up with a plan for the day. She would visit her father Enki in his city of Eridug, out in the abzu, the primal aquifer from which all existence sprang.

Enki, wise, all-knowing, knew that Inanna was popping round and had a few refreshments laid out. It’s always nice to have guests over. The table was decked with butter cakes, cool water, sweet wine, and bronze vessels brim-full of beer. Inanna was made to feel totally welcome, as though she were at the house of a girlfriend or colleague. Quite how the night descended into a high-stakes drinking contest is lost. The missing section of the tablet are like lapses in memory after a heavy night on the tiles.

The stakes that night were no poker chips or sparkling treasures. The first prize Inanna won was heroism, quickly followed by power, wickedness, righteousness, the plundering of cities, the making of lamentations, and rejoicing. That’s a good start down the road to civilisation. But the game didn’t end there. Among the fifty or so me that followed were trades like coppersmith, carpenter and scribe, feelings like respect, awe, and reverent silence, tools like the kindling and extinguishing of fire, and the great gifts of kissing and sex. On and on the list went, deep into the night.

Upon awakening, Enki had that hollow feeling of dread. That one where you’re checking your pockets, under your pillow, by the bathroom sink, wondering where the hell you left your coppersmith, reverent silence, and kindling. Maybe they’re still at the bar? What did we do last night anyway? And then it came to him. Inanna. Was she still here in Eridug, he asked his minister Isimud?

But she was already gone, loaded up her Boat of Heaven, and headed for Sumer. There followed a chase downriver, with Isimud following after Inanna attempting to reason with her and return the Boat of Heaven, laden with me, to Enki. To no avail. Inanna arrived at the Blue Quay of Ur bearing great gifts.

Truly, this is where our Sumero-Akkadian story begins. With Inanna, arriving at Ur, kindling a civilisation that would endure for millennia.

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