Research can be a strange thing. Today, I sat down to write about some of the recipes and prescriptions I’ve seen over the past few weeks. While reading an article on the Ancient History Encyclopedia site, earlier this week I snipped a quote from the article and saved it, without saving the link. As I often do in these situations, I took a short phrase out of the quote and asked Google to find the source. In retrospect, “seems to be a euphemism for penis” may not have been the best snippet to choose…
As it turns out though, the method is sound. There are in fact only three primary sources which use that form of words on the whole wide internet.
First, and weirdly related, a discussion of passages in Ugaritic cuneiform, from The Ugaritic Baal Cycle: Volume II, where “hand” seems to be a euphemism for penis (more on the Ugaritic style of cuneiform is pencilled in for day 104)
Second, a lovely article from the Houston Press entitled Vote with a Bullet (RU OK, TX?) describing the Cream song, Politician where “politics” is the suggested euphemism. “Get into my big black car / I want to just show you / What my politics are”.
And finally, from Robert D. Biggs, as quoted in Ancient History Encyclopedia: “[B]esides dealing with illness of various sources discussed above, the Asipu was a sort of sex therapist. There was a special collection of texts known by its Sumerian name, SA ZI GA…literally ‘lifting of the heart’, where ‘heart’ seems to be a euphemism for penis”. He goes on to quote what to modern ears, especially in these times of COVID, sounds like a risky and unappetising philtre: “If a man loses his potency, you dry and crush a male bat that is ready to mate, you put it into water which has sat out on the roof, you give it to him to drink; that man will then recover his potency.”
I’ve spent a long time now looking for the original of this tablet, but it’s beyond my nascent abilities as a student of the wedge, so instead I present an Akkadian incantation against impotence from Istanbul Archeological Museum. I hope it’s as good for you as it is for me.
